By Hernidia Tavares

It was very early in a morning of November 2003, when Jo, Ana Mafalda’s sister and my mother, received the news. My Aunt Ana Bela was outside crying and yelling “Jo, hurry up! Mafalda was taken to the hospital! She has just tried to commit suicide! ” My mother couldn’t move! She was frozen and could only say “This is impossible! She would never do that!” I had no reaction. My only thought was “She won’t survive”, while everybody was praying for the contrary. In fact my inner self was afraid of such a thought.

After coming from the hospital my mom told me what the doctor reported to them “Gasoline burned sixty percent of her body and we cannot guarantee that she will survive”.

On November 19th it will be five years since Mafalda passed away. Five years after her death, her sisters still try to keep alive the promise they made to her – to seek justice towards the person truly responsible for her choosing to burn herself to death.

Aunt Mafalda always felt that she was unlucky. She was left by her father when she was 8 months old; she was left by the father of her first son; she lost one of her twin baby and to complete her circle of misfortune, her life ended in a hospital bed due largely to the cruelty of the man she trusted her life, the very man that just two years previously she presented with the life of little daughter, Miriam.

For nineteen days my family lived in anguish and prayers for her life. For nineteen days, Mafalda blamed herself in regret for the lives she was leaving behind. For nineteen days, my mother witnessed Mafalda’s suffering of not being able to sit, to sleep, eat, dress, or to do her hair; her suffering of not being able to face her family and her friends; a suffering that was almost at the end.

Before dying Mafalda, confessed to my mother the reason why she didn’t want to live anymore. I wasn’t present on the conversation because I knew that it would be too much for me. I wasn’t courageous enough to see her inflamed body; to witness her suffering and tell her “Everything will be all right!” So, I will try to report here what my mom and my Aunt Bela told me. Mafalda heard people in her neighborhood saying that Jose Luis was known for molesting children, so she started to observe his behavior.

October 28th, she pretended she left home and went back to find Jose Luis in kids’ bedroom in the middle of night. She asked him what was happening and he told her that he went there to assure everything was all right with the kids. October 31st at 5 a.m. she left Souleny and my cousin Sandy sleeping and again she pretended she left home. About 15 minutes later she came back and found Jose Luis naked in the kids’ room with Souleny on his bosom and Sandy kneeling at his feet while he was pointing a gun on her head. “I went crazy and I just wanted to kill him, but he went over to me, throwing me against the wall and then he ran away in our car.” My mom said that she asked her why she didn’t share her worries with us and her answer was “I couldn’t because I was ashamed for what my family would think about it. I was ashamed for the judgment people would make about me! I’m guilty because I choose him to be my husband and I could never imagine that he could do that. He was a prison guard!”

After that she made my mom and my Aunt Bela promise that Jose Luis would pay for the lives of the two innocent children, as she said “Indeed I tried to kill him, but I couldn’t; and I couldn’t bear the thought of living with the suffering memory of Jose Luis molesting my children. I just wanted to die. If he doesn’t get what he deserves, my soul will never rest in peace!”

Around three o’clock in the morning of November 19th, I was still awake. I couldn’t sleep. I was having flashback of the wonderful time my aunt and I spent together. Suddenly, the phone rang and I just could hear myself shouting “My aunt is dead!” The screaming from my mom who was on the phone confirmed my fear. I had just lost my sweet aunt!

Seven days after her death, the traditional mass of “Rest in Peace” was celebrated. After that we had a family meeting. My grandmother couldn’t avoid blaming herself for what happened.

She lamented she couldn’t figure out what was wrong with Mafalda. She sent my cousins Jandira and Pelado to accompany Mafalda because she knew that she was not feeling well. Jandira told me that as soon as they get home Mafalda left saying that she had to but something. Pelado said, “I couldn’t have imagined something tragic as what I witnessed.” In fact she went out to buy something and when she went back she just had time to tell them to take care of her children because she was leaving. “After that, all I could see was a fireball of my aunt. She had just burned herself with gasoline she had just bought! Pieces of her skin were coming out every time we tried to touch!” Pelado concluded in tears.

Jo and Ana Bela exhausted all their income to assure that justice would be done. A medical report confirmed that both children were raped and that Jose Luis was the offender. The case was sent to the Court and he was sentenced to six years in prison. He was captured in the airport where he was trying to escape to Dakar.

Months after his capture, my mother and I went to the prison where he was and we had a dreadful surprise!
The information board hanging on the wall was announcing “Jose Luis, the guard on duty!”